A Night to Remember in Ba Sing Se
by thesebones
Summary: The title says it all.  It's the night before Aang's wedding, and Sokka has planned a getaway for the boys.  But in the morning, Aang is gone and no one can remember a thing!  The Hangover parody, in a way.  Zukka and Kataang.
1. Prologue

"Three more days…" whispered Aang to Katara.

Three days until Aang's sixteenth birthday.

Three days until they would finally be married.

They sat on the couch and stared at each other with the same eager gawk.

"Alright you two lovebirds, break it up!" said Sokka, charging into the room with a scroll.

"What's that?" asked Aang.

Sokka opened up the scroll and cleared his throat.

"Alright! Zuko and Mai are coming to Ba Sing Se for the wedding!"

"That's wonderful! I'm glad they could find the time to come and visit. It will be nice to see them again!" said Katara, smiling.

The air was filled with the smell of fire.

"Oh no, my sea prunes!"

Katara ran out of the room to tend to her burned prunes.

"You do know what this means, don't you?" said Sokka.

Aang stared at him like he had four heads.

"We're having a guy's night out before the wedding of course!"

"Sokka, I don't think it's a good idea to—"

"Nonsense, what could possibly go wrong? As your future big brother-in-law, I think you should just trust me on this one. I'll do all the planning. This is going to be a night to remember."


	2. Reunited

Zuko and Mai arrived early the next day to a massive crowd of onlookers.

After a thousand hugs and greetings, Aang and Zuko could finally catch up.

"I'm so glad you could make it, Firelord Zuko"

"I'm so glad to see you two are finally settling down. You deserve it"

"Thank you, that means a lot—"

"Zuko! Buddy! How've you been? How's the lady?"

"Hi, Sokka."

"So, tonight. You, me, and Master Arrowhead over here. We're having one last hurrah before he gets with my sister"

"Sounds good, Sokka."

Aang and Zuko shared a look of fear.

"A night out? Sounds like the girls are going to have the house to ourselves tonight!" Katara chimed in.

"I can finally throw you that bridal shower, Katara!" beamed Suki.

"I can hardly wait…" Said Mai, as enthusiastically as she possibly could.

"Don't be jealous, Mai. No one could have been more spoiled at their bridal shower than you were!" said Toph.

"Yeah, Mai. And Uncle was certainly happy with the amount of teapots we received"

The gang laughed.


	3. Sokkablocked

Aang closed up his small bag of belongings.

"I'll only be gone one night. I'll be back tomorrow morning, bright and early. I promise."

"If you're lying, I'm marrying Haru" Katara jested.

Aang laughed nervously.

"I love you"

"I love you, too. But don't tell Avatar Aang!" Katara poked again.

"Why not?" Aang played along.

"I'm marrying him tomorrow!"

"What a shame" he grabbed her.

"Ready to go?" Sokka ran in.

Damn, Sokkablocked again.

"Yup, just about"

"No naughty business, you two!" warned Katara.

"We have to pick up Zuko. I thought it would be best if we just took to the city by foot. We don't want to traumatize Appa"

This statement worried Aang.


	4. Picking Up Zuko

Zuko was waiting by the side of his guesthouse, leaning against its side.

"Ready, Zuko?" asked Sokka.

"Ready as I'll ever be."

"Alright, men. Here we go. Tonight the city is ours. I got us a room at the hotel in the middle ring, I hope that's okay. Oh, and whatever happens tonight stays between us. All set?"

And the gentlemen set out for a night to remember in Ba Sing Se.


	5. Touche

When Sokka awoke, he felt sore. When he went to move his legs, he found them to be intertwined with someone else's.

"Suki…WHAT THE—!" Sokka popped up to see Zuko was in his bed.

The two sat up and screamed at each other.

"What the hell, man? And where are your pants?"

"I don't know!" Sokka said, noticing that his ill-fitting underpants were clear as day.

"Where's Aang?" wondered Zuko, feeling a massive headache coming on. "And Sokka, put some pants on. I find it a little weird I have to ask twice."

Sokka scratched his hindquarters on the way to the bathroom. When he opened the door, he almost wet his ill-fitting underpants.

"There's a platypus bear. IN THE BATHROOM."

"What on earth happened last night?"

"I DON'T KNOW MAN, I'M JUST A DUDE LOOKING FOR SOME ANSWERS. And pants. And meat…"

Zuko got up and walked toward the bathroom.

"Oh, jeez! You weren't kidding!"

"Does this situation look funny to you?"

Zuko looked at a confused Sokka in underpants and pondered the question.

"Don't answer that"

"Let's just look for Aang."

The two searched the hotel until they came upon a closet. When they opened it, they were surprised at what they found inside.

"What—whose baby is that?" said Zuko.

"I don't know! Check its collar or something!"

"Look, just leave the baby. We gotta find Aang. He's getting married in a few hours!"

"We can't leave the baby! THERE'S A PLATYPUS BEAR IN THE BATHROOM!" Sokka said compassionately.

"Alright, take the damn kid and let's get out of here before I vomit. Ugh, why can't I remember a thing that happened last night?"

"It just means you had a good time. All thanks to me, of course"

Zuko was proud of himself for a moment. Then he snapped back.

"Alright, if we're gonna keep the thing it needs a name. I need to know what I'm dealing with."

"Jack—"  
"Dante—"

"Jack-Dante?"

"Sounds like the sexiest pairing of names I've ever heard! This kid is going to be a monster in bed, just like his uncle Sokka—"

"Too much, man"

"Nonsense. Even you ended up in my bed"

Zuko thought about this for a moment.

"Touché"


	6. To Lake Laogai

Zuko had looked all around the hotel and the surrounding buildings, but no one had seen Aang. He told Sokka he would meet up with him and Jack-Dante in the Jasmine Dragon for lunch after they searched with no avail for their missing groom.

"We've looked everywhere; He's nowhere to be found. It's like he disappeared" said Zuko.

"Okay, what do you remember from last night?" replied Sokka.

"I remember we were in a seedy Earth Kingdom bar, and then there was karaoke, and Aang was there."

"Oh yeah, I remember that! That shit was fun, no lie"

"…Yeah. And after that, nothing. That leaves a 12-hour window where we could have lost him"

"He's the most powerful bender in the world, I think we should give him a little rope here, ya know? …."

"…What is Jack-Dante doing? Is he… Is he grabbing your—" Zuko was disturbed.

"No, those are my pockets"

"THAT'S IT! CHECK YOUR POCKETS!"

"RIGHT!"

The two emptied their pockets. They found two silver pieces, a cherry chapstick, a bison whistle, the ID of a stranger, and a ticket of some sort.

"What's that?"

"It's a discharge receipt from Lake Laogai. And a receipt for 800 silver pieces we won gambling on a Pai Sho game!"

"HOLY SHIT!"

"Not in front of Jack-Dante!"

"We have a lead now! We just have to go Lake Laogai and find out if Aang was there with us when we were there"

After the war ended, Lake Laogai was turned into a help center and a hospital in the name of the Earth King. When Sokka and Zuko arrived, they quickly ran into a doctor that had recognized them from the night before.

"Please, you have to help us. That bald kid that was here with us last night, he's getting married in a few hours. And we lost him. And we have absolutely no clue what happened after we left the bar last night."

"Ahh yes, Avatar Aang. Yes, just the standard. Minor concussion and some bruising. And you when you all came in you were clearly being affected by cactus juice."

"Cactus juice? Wait, Sokka, didn't you tell me you were on that stuff one time?"

"Yeah, apparently it makes you hallucinate like crazy. After about a minute, I blacked out for a good 12 hours"

"Oh god Sokka, Aang could be in the Firenation by now!"

"Why would he want to go there?"

Zuko shot him a death look.

"Do you remember anything else about what happened last night?" Zuko begged.

"Yes, you were talking about some Pai Sho contest."

"That receipt!"

"Yes, apparently it was going to be held in lower ring and the prize was 800 silver pieces"

"Thanks, Doctor, sorry for your time"


	7. Ladies

The boys walked out of Lake Laogai and set off toward the lower ring. On the way there, they were stopped by a group of highly annoyed women.

"Can we help you, ladies?" said Sokka.

The ladies kicked them both in an unhappy area.

"How dare you talk to us after the humiliation you put us through!"

"Look, I understand you are hurt, but we kind of don't remember what happened last night. We're quite sorry about anything we did but we were under the influence of cactus juice. You know how it is, don't you?"

Jack-Dante began to reach out to the women.

"What are you doing with my daughter you pigs!" Shouted one of the women, who ran toward her daughter, nestled in Sokka's arms.

"It's a girl?" questioned Zuko.

"Of course it's a girl! Can't you tell?"

The two boys looked at each other, and then at the baby, and then back at each other.

"Do you remember we had the Avatar with us? He's getting married in a few hours and it's important we find him before my sister runs off with some Earth Kingdom heartthrob" begged Sokka.

"Heartthrob?" questioned Zuko.

"He HAS a MOUSTACHE" clarified Sokka.

"We know where your friend went" said the woman.

The group fell silent.

"….Then….You should tell us" said Zuko.

"Oh, we'll tell you… But you have to do something for us first"

The boys looked at each other with a terrified stare.


	8. Not a First

"As punishment for disgracing the women's poetry club by barging in under the influence of cactus juice and shouting out poems using profane words and phrases, I hereby sentence these indecent men to face us again, woman to woman"

Zuko and Sokka stared at each other, dressed in full drag.

"Surprisingly," said Sokka, "This isn't a first."

"Nice legs"

The two boys walked out falling over themselves in their three-inch heels and began to recite an apologetic poem.

Sokka cleared his throat.

"'We're sorry', a haiku by Firelord Zuko and soon-to-be Avatar Sokka"

"Sokka, your name isn't going to change" Zuko whispered.

"Well, won't Katara be Mrs. Avatar Katara of the Water tribe?" Sokka was confused.

"No! Avatar is a title of rank. It's not actually part of his name. And even if it was, Katara's name change won't have any bearing on you."

"But… We're siblings!"

Zuko borrowed Sokka's trademark facepalm for a moment.

"'We're sorry', a haiku by Firelord Zuko and ... Just Sokka.

Sorry we were dumb  
We didn't mean to offend  
We were sort of high"

Zuko recited the poem with frustration.

The ladies clapped in honor of their brave and beautiful apology.

"We forgive you" said the women, who were now in tears.

"This is a waste of our time!" said Zuko.

"Ladies, you promised" said Sokka.

"You and your friend were heading to The Roaring Wind" said the woman with the tranny baby.

"What's The Roaring Wind?" said Sokka.

"It's a sleazy spot for gamblers in the lower ring. I bet you could find where your friend went if you went there"

"Thank you very much, ladies. Sorry again for ruining your night."

"You are forgiven. Oh, and when you see that Avatar, give him this"

She then pinched Sokka on his hindquarters and winked.


End file.
